It was just another Sunday in a new town we just moved to. It went by the name of North Creek right next to D.C. My dad Jerry, my mom Sharron, and me were on our way to church. On our way down Pear St. my clumsy dad was trying to call his new boss from his new job at the CIA on his cell phone. Then I saw a big black SUV coming toward us head first. The last thing I herd was the tires screeching. I guess North Creek just wasn’t our town.
My name is Danny Turnerman. I woke up in the North Creek hospital. There was yelling and talking. ”Te boy’s awake. He’s awake!” They gave me a pill and told me to go back to sleep. Once again I woke up and there was my Uncle Fred sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed. He saw me open my eyes and said “Hello” in a soft gentle voice.
“The doctors said you wouldn’t wake up. They said you were in A Coma. Watch your leg though” he said.
“A Coma .Really! Ow, Owch My leg.
“Told ya”
“Wait, are my parents okay! Can I see them” I said.
The doctor walks in.
“Oh my god. It’s a miracle.”
Me and the doctor talk for a couple of minutes until the doctor thought I ready to meet my parents. He lets them in. They talk with me for a while and Danny says good bye to his parents as they leave to go home since they’re in good enough condition. Danny is told that they will come first thing in the morning to come pick him up.
The next day I’m taken away with my parents and my crutches. We went for lunch and ice cream and went home. My dad said he had paperwork to do so he went up stairs. And for me, I had nothing better to do than watch TV. Luckily we have a TIVO so I do not miss one episode of Family Guy. I sat there until my mom made me go to bed. My mom helped me up the stairs to my room and I had it from there.
I was walking down the hall when I herd talking. It was coming from my parent’s bedroom. I peaked into my room. There was my dad talking on the phone.
“Look John, I think the government is on to us. They’re the ones who ran into my car. Anyways if we do get caught what will happen to my family.
The other person speaks but I can’t hear him.
“I don’t care if your wife left you for this, just bring the bomb!”
My dad slams the phone down. He looks over and sees me. He grabs me and puts me on the ground. I try to refuse. He shoves one of those pills from the hospital in my mouth and I fall asleep.
The next morning I wake up and my dad was gone.
“Where’s dad” I ask my mom.
“I think he said something about going to the Smithsonian for some diamond exhibit. He supposed to guard it today. Maybe we can go down later.”
“Ok, but first I need to tell you about the craziest dream I had last night.”
The very next moment my dad and another man come rushing in the house with a big black bag. He grabs me and puts a gun to my back making me drop my crutches. There are S.W.A.T.’s everywhere.
“You’re surrounded. There’s no use in the child. Hand him over” says a man with microphone in one hand and a pistol in the other.
“NO” yells my dad.
Even if he did let go I couldn’t go anywhere because of my broken leg from the crash.
My dad starts to slowly back up taking baby steps back into the house. When he is about three feet from the door he threw me down on the ground. Not even one step into his running plan he was shot in the leg as a way to stop him without killing him. He was going to a high security prison right after his leg surgery.
One week later
“Finally the bomb is finished. Now to owe my friend an apology and some diamonds” said John to himself.
John got in his car with the light sensing bomb. He knew he could not go inside the prison so did the classic bomb in the box. He mailed it into the prison. The box was sent into the small mail room ready to be looked at before handed to the prisoners. The mail room was a probably the size of a wide hallway and the strong doors are closed on each side. When the guards opened the box… KABOOM. All of the guards in the mail room and in the hall next to it were dead.
All of the rest of the guards were drawn to it to see what happened. One of the guards trying to finish his donut came running out of the maintenance room just so happened to run into John. John knocked him out and took his keys. Now John had the chance to walk into the maintenance room. Without a breath he pulled down the lever that opened up the cell doors.
John walked outside calmly and waited for the prisoners to start coming out. He could hear the guards yelling and screaming and being beat up. Within ten minutes John met up with Jerry. They got in Johns car and drove away.
On the road going for the Canadian border John pulled a big black bag out from behind his seat. While watching the road John handed the bag to Jerry. Jerry looked inside. A bunch of sparkles were coming out of the bag. They both started yelling in happiness.
What a tricky story! I assumed it was over when Danny's narrative ended; instead it was just the beginning. Jerry is an evil man!
ReplyDeleteBe careful with the switching of the narrative. It's difficult to go from Danny's first-person "I" to a third person view of the prison break. Instead, can you revise the first section to stay in Danny's perspective but use the third-person narrative?
i think that you had really good voice and it made sense.
ReplyDelete