1.If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2.There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3.ple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4.uck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
ck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
uck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Some say that they’ve seen it. The only proof of it is the missing livestock and the tracks in the corn fields. They say it lives in the woods behind Mark Dunby’s place. I can’t imagine living in the woods in front of a myth… or is it.
It was the night of the carnival. Children were running around with their tickets so happy. There was a young married couple attending the games and rides too. Their names were Joey and Alice Montington in there early fifties. When thy herd that the carnival was coming to their small country town, they decided to go. As Joey was trying to win Alice a prize Joey paused. Joey could see a tall black figure emerge from behind him. Joey turned around and yelled…
‘’ Bobby is that you. Why, its been years’’
‘’Joey, you haven’t changed a bit’’ said Bobby.
‘’Thanks, I guess. Any ways don’t scare me like that ever again’’ said Joey.
‘’ No prob. Sorry’’ Bobby said
‘’We need to catch up. C’mon, there’s a bar down the road’’ Joey suggested.
They all pilled into the Montingtons car and drove down to the bar. Once thy got to the bar everything slipped from there. Three hours past when thy finally came out of the bar. By this time it was 9:00pm. They were more drunk than raccoon stuffed with fermented berries. The couple offered Bobby a place to stay. Once again they pilled into the car. That was dumb.
All of the road are back roads so there are only a couple of farm houses every couple of miles. On the way back to the Montingtons house there is a fork in the road. Their house is on the left but they go to the right because of the alcohol
‘’Where’s the house’’ Joey mumbled.
‘’ Non of this looks familiar’’ said Alice.
They all stepped out of the car to look around.
‘’ Hey, what’s that horrible smell. It’s coming from over hear.’’ Bobby complained to the others.
There they found a goat; dead. It had been torn up and mauled beyond belief.
‘’No animal I know of would do this or could do this’’ said Joey.
From that moment all three of them were scared mostly out of their drunk beings. They all did know about the stories and the sayings. They did not believe in them but they were still scared.
‘’Maybe we should head back to the carnival now’’ Alice whispered
They got in the car and headed back down the road until they saw a black figure in the road. They got out again. For no reason it charged toward the three of them. Bobby was too slow the monster which looked just like a giant rat got Bobby. It turned bobby into what the goat had looked like after the monster got a hold of it. The couple’s best chance of survival was to get out of the open. Joey learned this in scouts. They dove into the corn fields. They ran until they found the woods behind Mark Dunby’s house. Now only if it was on the side the Montingtons were on.
‘’ Going through is our only chance. We can make it through this. I love you and we are together’’ Joey said while panting.
‘’Okay’’ Alice managed to say under the heavy breathing.
They raced through the woods until the point they could see light. The hike was almost over now. Alice stopped and sat next to a fairly large tree.
‘’We can’t stop now’’ Joey said like a coach would to his players.
‘’what was that thing Joey’’ asked Alice.
‘’I don’t know. It could have been a person or something else. Well- well, that doesn’t matter right now’’
‘’Okay’’
But then a loud sound of a falling tree came into the area. CRACK, CRACK, CRACK and it fell. It fell right on Alice with the force of gravity.
‘’ ALICE! NO!’’ Joey screamed.
Mark Dunby heard this from his house. He grabbed his riffle and came out. He saw the monster. He aimed and just about when he was going to fire the monster jumped up into the air. Mark fired and missed so now the monster had a chance to live. It had mauled him like all of the others. Joey was extremely confused so he dove for the gun. He loaded. He aimed. He fired. It hit the monster right on the arm. That was not enough to kill it for good though. It ran away. Joey did not want to hunt it down.
Joey was just thinking’’ My life is over as I know it. I’m comin’ Bobby. I’m comin’ Alice. He loaded. He aimed. He fired.
It was the night of the carnival. Children were running around with their tickets so happy. There was a young married couple attending the games and rides too. Their names were Joey and Alice Montington in there early fifties. When thy herd that the carnival was coming to their small country town, they decided to go. As Joey was trying to win Alice a prize Joey paused. Joey could see a tall black figure emerge from behind him. Joey turned around and yelled…
‘’ Bobby is that you. Why, its been years’’
‘’Joey, you haven’t changed a bit’’ said Bobby.
‘’Thanks, I guess. Any ways don’t scare me like that ever again’’ said Joey.
‘’ No prob. Sorry’’ Bobby said
‘’We need to catch up. C’mon, there’s a bar down the road’’ Joey suggested.
They all pilled into the Montingtons car and drove down to the bar. Once thy got to the bar everything slipped from there. Three hours past when thy finally came out of the bar. By this time it was 9:00pm. They were more drunk than raccoon stuffed with fermented berries. The couple offered Bobby a place to stay. Once again they pilled into the car. That was dumb.
All of the road are back roads so there are only a couple of farm houses every couple of miles. On the way back to the Montingtons house there is a fork in the road. Their house is on the left but they go to the right because of the alcohol
‘’Where’s the house’’ Joey mumbled.
‘’ Non of this looks familiar’’ said Alice.
They all stepped out of the car to look around.
‘’ Hey, what’s that horrible smell. It’s coming from over hear.’’ Bobby complained to the others.
There they found a goat; dead. It had been torn up and mauled beyond belief.
‘’No animal I know of would do this or could do this’’ said Joey.
From that moment all three of them were scared mostly out of their drunk beings. They all did know about the stories and the sayings. They did not believe in them but they were still scared.
‘’Maybe we should head back to the carnival now’’ Alice whispered
They got in the car and headed back down the road until they saw a black figure in the road. They got out again. For no reason it charged toward the three of them. Bobby was too slow the monster which looked just like a giant rat got Bobby. It turned bobby into what the goat had looked like after the monster got a hold of it. The couple’s best chance of survival was to get out of the open. Joey learned this in scouts. They dove into the corn fields. They ran until they found the woods behind Mark Dunby’s house. Now only if it was on the side the Montingtons were on.
‘’ Going through is our only chance. We can make it through this. I love you and we are together’’ Joey said while panting.
‘’Okay’’ Alice managed to say under the heavy breathing.
They raced through the woods until the point they could see light. The hike was almost over now. Alice stopped and sat next to a fairly large tree.
‘’We can’t stop now’’ Joey said like a coach would to his players.
‘’what was that thing Joey’’ asked Alice.
‘’I don’t know. It could have been a person or something else. Well- well, that doesn’t matter right now’’
‘’Okay’’
But then a loud sound of a falling tree came into the area. CRACK, CRACK, CRACK and it fell. It fell right on Alice with the force of gravity.
‘’ ALICE! NO!’’ Joey screamed.
Mark Dunby heard this from his house. He grabbed his riffle and came out. He saw the monster. He aimed and just about when he was going to fire the monster jumped up into the air. Mark fired and missed so now the monster had a chance to live. It had mauled him like all of the others. Joey was extremely confused so he dove for the gun. He loaded. He aimed. He fired. It hit the monster right on the arm. That was not enough to kill it for good though. It ran away. Joey did not want to hunt it down.
Joey was just thinking’’ My life is over as I know it. I’m comin’ Bobby. I’m comin’ Alice. He loaded. He aimed. He fired.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
My Rockin Room
Imagine that you are riding around on a go kart and you see that you’re in a giant gym like room; that’s when you think, yep this is my room. If I could construct and design my own room it would be epic! I would have a massage bed with surround sound HDTV. Maybe I could even squeeze have a movie theater in somewhere. Whatever I wanted in it, I could have
In my room I would have dirt all around. And what is it for; grab a bike and let’s ride into the dirt and speed of my room. It would be incredibly fun to come home from a hard day of school and ride over ramps and hills. If you don’t want a bike, pick an ATV or a go kart or more.
When I’m done riding, I’m going to need a snack so I head over to my walk in refrigerator. I can have whatever I want here from microwave dinners to homemade spaghetti. I also have a special part only with sprecker root beer. This part of the room is refreshing kind of like the next part.
I have saved the best for last. pool in my room would be nice. I mean, wouldn’t every body’s dream room have one. Splash and slide or play water basketball here. If you don’t want to play I also have a Jacuzzi to relax in. If you didn’t notice already my pool is only a little part to a giant McDonalds’ jungle gym. If that’s not enough for you in the middle of all that, I have a five story high drop tower. If that’s not enough for you I don’t know what is.
If you thought your dream room was cool I know you’re jealous now. I recommend you start from scratch on your room. I only wish this was true. I almost got lost in the fiction of my mind. I almost forgot about reality. Who knows, I guess it’s possible.
In my room I would have dirt all around. And what is it for; grab a bike and let’s ride into the dirt and speed of my room. It would be incredibly fun to come home from a hard day of school and ride over ramps and hills. If you don’t want a bike, pick an ATV or a go kart or more.
When I’m done riding, I’m going to need a snack so I head over to my walk in refrigerator. I can have whatever I want here from microwave dinners to homemade spaghetti. I also have a special part only with sprecker root beer. This part of the room is refreshing kind of like the next part.
I have saved the best for last. pool in my room would be nice. I mean, wouldn’t every body’s dream room have one. Splash and slide or play water basketball here. If you don’t want to play I also have a Jacuzzi to relax in. If you didn’t notice already my pool is only a little part to a giant McDonalds’ jungle gym. If that’s not enough for you in the middle of all that, I have a five story high drop tower. If that’s not enough for you I don’t know what is.
If you thought your dream room was cool I know you’re jealous now. I recommend you start from scratch on your room. I only wish this was true. I almost got lost in the fiction of my mind. I almost forgot about reality. Who knows, I guess it’s possible.
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